and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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