I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize