my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
