i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
