and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
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