Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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