First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
