That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
