Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I didn't notice because vodka
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
