She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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