There is no way he is gay with that hair.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
