If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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