I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
