this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
