She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
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i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
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Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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