Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
