I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
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