I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I smell like Dick and happiness
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
