Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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