she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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