If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
