so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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