bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
two words: eviction party
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
