ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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