the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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