This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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