Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
