Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
