I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
COCAINE IS GR8
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
