im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
