we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
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