I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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