somebody snuck up and got me drunk
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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