Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
