ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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