I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
