Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
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