dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
tonight lets celebrate not being married
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
