Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
