I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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