...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
