Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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