oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
