He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
