i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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