Whod you bang
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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