He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Randomize
