You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
