Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
