Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
