Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
