We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
