dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
