flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
