Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
