I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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