You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
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You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
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Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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