It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
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