so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
