ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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