ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
