So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
