You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize