doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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